Marriage, life long commitment, learning to live together, and building a life as one? Let's get real, it's not always going to be easy or perfect.
When two lives come together, it's more than living in the moment, it is your entire history, both of your childhoods, your flaws and quirks, along with everything good all wrapped into one big bundle.
I am no expert on marriage, but I can say I have learned a lot over the past 8 years of living together, 5 years or marriage and two beautiful kids later. Lets not sugar coat it, there will be rough patches, there will be times that you don't get one another, but thats ok. You are not alone.
Before marriage, I used to think of it as a "fairytale", yes I was one of those people. Then real life hit and instead of going through struggles on your own, you are suddenly going through the good and the bad times with your partner.
There is so much to know, but the most important concept I have realized, is never stop learning about each other. Everyone changes and everyone has highs and lows. You can either pick one another apart, or you can take the time to accept, be patient and understand what you will tolerate and what you will not tolerate.
Speak your mind, listen and communicate your thoughts. YES, this can be done without yelling, swearing or hurtful words. It is much better solving problems when you can talk and be open to hearing both sides.
Personally, my husband and I have 3 absolute "no toleration" rules each. That means, we both chose 3 things that neither of us would tolerate within our marriage. That way, we know our boundaries and have a "map" of what we will accept and will not accept. Each couple is different, so you can come up with your own based on your believes.
We can try our hardest, but life happens. Whether you have kids or not, marriage is NOT all rainbows and flowers! However, the times that are the hardest can bring you together and make you stronger.
There is so much pressure to have a perfect marriage, but guess what, just like pretending everything is always going to go exactly as planned, thats not real.
Take a step back, look around you and be thankful for where you are in this exact moment.
I am thankful to have a loving and supportive husband. It takes work, but we are able to accept each others differences and similarities. We know our limits and we choose to learn and grow together. It hasn't always been easy. It is a choice to stay together, to make it work and to realize it's not going to be perfect along the way, but it sure is worth it.
Hope you all have an amazing week and thanks for stopping by!
Message me some ideas for next weeks Real Talk Wednesday and yours could be featured!
Lots of Love,